(That is as far as they got before, as a woman and a journalist, I was asked to leave.) Having a drink at the bar is a man I recognise as the health authority doctor who runs the gay awareness workshops. One of them is wearing a leather hood over his face, repeatedly slapping his partner who is lying like a trussed chicken on a table. Formerly owned by a British businessman, Why Not? houses a cozy downstairs bar - that is, until you look at the video screen, where a tape shows a close-up of anal intercourse between two men. The owner of Why Not?, reckoned the best-run of the brothels, says he employs only boys from EU countries. You just say 'I'll do anything if you help me' and then after he has signed you don't do it.' 'You have to find a sponsor to give you a warrantee to let you stay in the country.' If he means a gay marriage, why should a Dutch gay agree to one without sex? 'It is easy. 'He is looking for someone to help him get his papers,' explains Petru. His friend Ion, who says he is 19 but looks years younger, does not have much to say. The first guy was an art teacher in a school.' I didn't really think about what it would be like, I just did it. I met a Romanian on the street who told me about Paardenstraat. 'At first I lived on a construction site. 'Not one of my Romanian friends here is gay,' he says. Petru is 22 and arrived only two weeks ago. They have nothing in common with Amsterdam's gay cult. The Romanians would never be caught dead there. One of his colleagues, a doctor from the official health authority, runs workshops to 'get the boys to admit they are really homosexuals'. He says it 'destroys the fellowship of the gay community'. 'They're into ripping people off.' He does not approve of boys denying their homosexuality while earning a living as male prostitutes. 'The Romanians are not good at comforting the customer in bed,' says Mr Tezing. The customers are mostly men in their 50s and 60s, from all over the West including America.
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Since the fall of the Berlin Wall, Dutch tolerance has backlashed on itself the dark shapes in the Festivalbar convey a picture of mutual parasitism, with East and West feeding off each other. Most of the boys arrived via Germany, where they failed to get political asylum, and then heard of an easier life in the Netherlands. Europe's belt of sleaze, stretching through the traditional centres of Amsterdam and Berlin, has carved out new notches in Prague, Warsaw and Bucharest.
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Never before exposed to gay sex, the Romanian boys, aged between 17 and 22, are in it only for money. A slow but steady post-Cold War influx has enabled the rentboys from Romania to take over what was once a placid backwater of Dutch sexual laissez-faire. It is conducted not through ringleaders and brothelkeepers, but over the bar counters of a dark and cobbled alley called Paardenstraat at an average of pounds 50 a trick. It might also be on my right ear but not as much but Idk.THE TRADE in human flesh from East Europe has begun in earnest in Amsterdam. Rarely it goes to both of my ears or spreads but mainly it's been on my left ear. I just want to get it checked out just to be on the safe side. But on a daily basis I can hear it but it's no big deal. But I still hear it til today like this moment. but I figured it was normal but now since I gotten smarter and mature I decided to look up what it was. I think I might either have the mineres disease or tinnitus or whatever because for years I've been hearing ringing in my ears or left ear mostly. Meaning I know it won't happen but my anxiety is taking over making me scared and rarely panic sometimes to where I have my mom sleep with me. I believe in ghost but that experience never happend with me.
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I just think if I try to sleep peacefully then I would hear whispers or I would feel something rub on me and open my eyes someone would be there. The other is that I'm afraid sleeping by myself in the dark. Then when I wake up everyday I feel like I need to sleep in more because I'm tired and sleepy still. Not like through until the middle of the night but my bed time is usually around 10:30 or suppose to be but I usually fall asleep between 12:30 to about 2 the most. And I can't sleep well at night and I stay up late. Most of the times I overthink and I don't want that feeling. And everyday I fidget or walk around non stop back and forth and when I do I think. Then everyday it keeps happening I keep thinking and then I over think and it could be positive but if it's negative then it will get me scared or have me keep thinking about it. I usually worry about things that shouldn't be worried about it shouldn't be worried about that much. For the past months I've been experiencing an anxiety like feeling.